HowToFightFair

Stick to one topic at a time	Changing topics is a good way to avoid responsibility and get angry about lots of issues but not a good way to solve problems
Listen to the other person!	Just this one idea can make the world of difference. Lots of anger is generated by the fustration of not being listened to. When we listen to someone we often earn the right to be listened to. If we don't listen how can we understand?
Be creative with possible solutions	Accept all ideas as possible solutions to begin with. Then try to put together a package that meets all needs if possible.
Agree with the other person as often as possible	This helps us to feel listened to. Sometimes we need to agree that we are or were wrong.
Be solution focused not problem focused	Is the fight just about revenge and venting anger or about solving a problem? Revenge and anger just make things worse. Solutions make things better
Stay calm	Take a time out if either party is angry
Don't bring up the past	Bringing up issues from the past only adds more negative emotions. The past can't be changed but the future can be improved.
Don't exaggerate	You never clean up your room. You always do it wrong. Statements like this often are not really accurate and they make us angry.
No name calling	This is often very hurtful.
No blaming	This is not very helpful and often produces anger.
Don't yell	This creates lots of hurt and anger
No ultimatums	Only make ultimatums if you really mean them. Often the cause of serious breakdowns.
Don't make excuses.	This creates anger and frustration
Don't criticise	This creates anger and frustration
Don't threaten	This creates anger and fear.
Use positive body language and non-verbals	Much of the problems when we fight or argue are caused by our body language and non-verbals. Be aware of what you are saying through these channels.