Unix command jokes

Here's some funny Unix command and error messages. A few I've come up with, and the rest I've borrow. For the ones with %, they work inside of csh shell. The ones with the $ prompt work in bash. Thanks jimbo@statsci.com.

<geshi lang="bash"> % %perfect %perfect: No such job $ date "with supermodel" date: invalid date `with supermodel' $ who mom likes begge1 pts/84 Oct 13 18:41 (x.x.x.x) $ prove Hell Hell...Hell does not exist % How's my scripting skills? Unmatched ' % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Missing ] % ^How did the sex change^ operation go? Modifier failed % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have? Too many ('s % man: why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments %blow %blow: No such job % \(- (-: Command not found $ PATH=pretending! /usr/bin/which sense no sense in pretending! % !bluemoon bluemoon: Event not found scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^D "Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found % look into "my eyes" look: can't open my eyes </geshi>