View source for Unix command jokes

Here's some funny Unix command and error messages.  A few I've come up with, and the rest I've borrow.  For the ones with %, they work inside of csh shell. The ones with the $ prompt work in bash. Thanks jimbo@statsci.com.

<geshi lang="bash">
% %perfect
%perfect: No such job
$ date "with supermodel"
date: invalid date `with supermodel'
$ who mom likes
begge1   pts/84       Oct 13 18:41 (x.x.x.x)
$ prove Hell
Hell...Hell does not exist
% How's my scripting skills?
Unmatched '
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ]
% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed
% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments
%blow
%blow: No such job
% \(-
(-: Command not found
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/bin/which sense
no sense in pretending!
%  !bluemoon
bluemoon: Event not found
scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^D
"Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found
% look into "my eyes"
look: can't open my eyes
</geshi>

[[Category:Unix]]
[[Category:Bash]]